Now this got my ribs cracking…
When it gets to the Extreme, One needs extreme measures to manage. So by the time some one puts up an Ad like this one, you know its extreme – But I learned a lot from it too. Check this out
Girlfriend needed aged between 18 (* Global Age of consent) to 29 from any part of the world for a lasting straight, monogamous relationship with the Promise of undoubted love and Security.
QUALIFICATIONS: IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
Height – average 5’5
Weight – 44 – 50 kgs
Complexion – All shades under the sun babe!
Hair – Natural, short preferably unkempt…
Eyes – Big bright eyes
Rack – I don’t know the technical sizes but as long as they are big enough to fill my palms, I wouldn’t complain *NOTE – IMPLANTS NOT ALLOWED
Tummy – well packaged Flat Screen with the new Sony BRAVIA technology
Waist – tiny… as long as my arm can get around
Legs – Hmmmm… I really haven’t seen but Halle Berry legs would do perfectly (Google it)
Lips – soft and Succulent (Period) oh! And by the way with no lipstick – It’s Messy!!!
Fingers – Small, long, with cute nails because that way, they perfectly fit into mine.
Bottoms – Nothing less than Eva Mendez as seen in the Movie ‘HITCH’ if you haven’t watched it, you don’t qualify.
Neck – just like a Gazelle’s
Teeth – milk teeth LOL! Anyway seriously, as long as it makes a lovely smile that will make every day Christmas
Voice- Anything between Sweet, Silky or Husky with Melody and a bit of accent if you can’t fake it, well… Southern African or ‘Spanglish’ would do like how you would speak English with a Spanish accent
Figure – 8 is cliché, 1 is sickly so a curvy, shapely Coke bottle like figure is good but the new Fanta bottle is a BONUS
Nose- after all the above… what do you think? Figure it out.
should be a woman of Character with Virtue and Value who knows WHO she is and WHAT she wants. she should also be Intelligent, Creative, loves Artistry, Agile, Open minded, Expressive, Confident, Emotionally mature and stable, with a Sense of Humor, Purposeful, Visionary, Decisive, Understanding, Respectful, Selfless, Realistic, Passionate, Progressive not to forget that she has to be Loving, Sensitive and Caring
WHAT I DONT LIKE:
– Soap Operas
-Tantrums and Panic attacks
– Constant Controlling or Nagging
– Unreasonable mood swings
– Interrupting personal space
– Reading Wedding Magazines and watching wedding programs
– Impulsive/Wild Shopping sprees
– Slapping me “Mbu Nkunyiziza…”
– BOTTOM LINE I… DON’T… want… DRAMA… in… My… LIFE!!!
So if you think you qualify,
send your applications to Human Resource
the SOULMATE Finder
email strictly (Sorry for those of you who are not tech savvy)
Please attach the following:
1. Current non Photoshopped pictures of yourself with no make up
2. A 500 word essay about yourself, back ground, Ex’s, Hobbies, interests, Dreams, Break up letters, sms’s, Divorce certificates etc. (*Note break up and Divorce Certificates are optional and if applicable)
3. Birth Certificate
4. Current CV
Emails sent later than 30th September 2011 will not be considered
Only shortlisted Candidates will be contacted.
NOTE: Experience isn’t mandatory